Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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