just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
