Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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