Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
