The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
