im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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