You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
