Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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