So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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