Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
