i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
