Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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