You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
