My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
