Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
