walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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