Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
