My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
