Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
