sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
