Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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