Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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