please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What a dumb baby whore.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
