I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
