Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
