what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
