if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
