he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Can I color on your dick again?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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