he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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