I just saw a hot homeless man
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
