Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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