Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
