I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
