It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
