just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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