he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
