i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize