Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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