i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
