This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
