I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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