i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
