but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
