The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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