Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My dick has a subreddit
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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