i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
