apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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