Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
