In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
