We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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