Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i believe in u and ur pee
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