Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
