You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
