just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
