She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
