she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
