im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
