it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I AM VODKA MAN
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
